1月16日
When this beganI had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
Erase all the pain till it’s gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
It’s easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I’ve kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they’ve played
If I could change I would take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn’t have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there’d never be a past
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don’t feel misplaced
It’s so much simpler than change
过去的一年,有很多,有过一个人偷偷哭的晚上,有身边人无私的关怀和帮助的感动,有过空虚到对外大肆宣称要找男朋友的日子,有走极端而最终发现迷失自我的时刻,还有很多感觉,我想我是感性的,但所有过去的一切都只能留在我的记忆里,最终都没有落在纸上和每个我身边的人分享,我感谢你们,不管你们现在是否在我身边,是否能感受到我最真挚的谢意,但我相信,我们能遇到,能共同经历就是缘分,不管下一秒你们还会不会留在我的未来里,但是我还是感谢上天让我生命中的某一段拥有了你们。
可惜我没有时间把这些精彩的片断用感情写下来,不过我想这给了我们更大的空间去描绘未来,真的,过去一年经历的太多事情现在一下都在我的脑海里,我和谁一起疯狂过,我和谁一起哭过,我和谁一起愤怒过,我又和谁一起面对世界妥协过,成长过;我欠了谁,还的清的,还不清的,我碰到了谁,让我突然产生了一种责任感。。。。。。
知道吗,我现在真的很幸福,感动的想哭,我对新的一年已经有了自己的打算,不管这会不会影响或者彻底改变我现在拥有的一切,不管我今后会碰到无数新的走进我生活的人,任他们带给我新的感情起伏,我此时此刻想的是:我和现在的你们,缘无止尽。