I kinda feel that i ve got back to years before, those sleepless days, had enough time to sleep but could not enjoy, should i think im still lucky fell asleep at around 11pm and wake up at 2:45 am and stay awake untill helplessly hear the clock clicking 3 am, then i gave up my get-myslef-back-to-dream undertaking and sit up opening my laptop. After finishing 2 episodes of Sex n' City and one macro economic report, now Im even sad and sure that I can do precise maths while welcoming the sunrise if there's gonna be one.

 

Feel like calling someone,or anyone who can talk me into sleep.

 

Well, im clear that im no longer that little girl who could take chatting with strangers in ICR and writing their stuff into my stories chapter after chapter to combat the endless insomnia, is it ture that when ppl getting older or growing up (i should put it this way), they r more likely to hold their emotions back to themsleves,or more coward to face the innerside, im too old to be encourage but wisely i didnt write any stories which i always could not put and end to, this was a bad habbit for young Rachel to killing herslef little by little and of course the only way to let out her innerside out, standing in front of her clearly telling her who she was and what the hell did she really wanna do.

 

And now,no more stories,no more words, i have lost the only way to know myself, i suprisingly, again n again, found out some around me knowing me better than myslef, and every "ohh, that's me! that's what i want , that's what i should do "get me out of the mass and make me a little frustrated.

 

But the truth is, i do have the ability to know myslef, but i always have lame excuses to face myslef like im lazy or im stupid or...maybe im just afraid to say somehin or do somethin.

 

Im not double-sided, just hold to much to myslef.im not gonna tell,this is a strange feeling ,just,like yesterday I was with 3 girls for dinner, we talked from 6pm to 10:30pm til the restaurant close and the boss asked us to leave, well four single girl, maybe women is more appropariate coz girls never have to worry abt being single and end up being single. we talked abt a lot of stuff,most of them were abt guys, those who appeared in our lives, we had crush on or being close, potential boy friend but not anymore, or boyfriend but not anymore.

 

One lucky bird, who has 4-5 potential guys around but still being single coz the baby doesnt know how to say the words to get a realtionship started or do somehin to make the guy say the really important I LOVE YOU, but this lucky baby is no more lucky when with me or girls like me,coz if i know how to tell that words or do the thing as a hint to make a relationship official, then i would not there with her talking abt guys for hours.

 

The problem is, im better than her, she's too junior and dont know there is somethin called HINT, what she has in mind is, how should i say I LOVE YOU to let the guy know that i wanna be his girl, what a cute babe! But on my way back in taxi, i thought maybe i was the one who had problem, what's wrong with telling others your true feelings.ok,babe you win, coz you r more brave than im. you r positive and active abt love and im not, at least not always so.

 

Ok, say hi to the early birds out of my window, im gonna try to get myself sleep again so that i would not frighten my mom by my insominia.and say hi to little Rachel, i really miss you and thanks for coming back to me to bring me the insomnia again, but i hope you'll just be a guest not a family,anyway, still clear and tired and not telling the truth.

 

Blind date for 2nd time in the weeks to come arranged by my mom, some friends heard and said"ohh, blind dates again,well, you lucky!" well, maybe im to have such a mom so that i dont need to worry abt ending up being single, seeing nice guy whom my mom like is not a problem to me, at least it is a way to know guys though a little old fashioned but i dont mind, but the real problem again is, ironically they r just my mom's cup of tea,but not my glass of drinks.

 

在别人的SPZ上看到的，觉得很受用，其中的道理其实我们都懂，但是我们也只是一群不知道命运下一秒怎么走的普通人，当然最重要的就是珍惜自己在这一刻的小快乐~Luv U，babes!

 

柏拉图有一天问老师苏格拉底什么是爱情 
苏格拉底叫他到麦田走一次 
要不回头地走
在途中要摘一棵最大最好的麦穗
但只可以摘一次
柏拉图觉得很容易
充满信心地出去
谁知过了半天他仍没有回去
最后，他垂头丧气出现在老师跟前诉说空手而回的原因： 
" 很难得看见一株看似不错的，却不知是不是最好， 
不得已，因为只可以摘一次，只好放弃，再看看有没有更好的， 
到发现已经走到尽头时，才发觉手上一棵麦穗也没有 
这时，苏格拉底告诉他： 
" 那就是爱情  "

柏拉图有一天又问老师苏格拉底什么是婚姻 
苏格拉底叫他到彬树林走一次 
要不回头地走 
在途中要取一棵最好、最适合用来当圣诞树用的树材 
但只可以取一次 
柏拉图有了上回的教训 
充满信心地出去 
半天之后，他一身疲惫地拖了一棵看起来直挺、翠绿，却有点稀疏的杉树 
苏格拉底问他：  " 这就是最好的树材吗？  "
柏拉图回答老师： 
" 因为只可以取一棵，好不容易看见一棵看似不错的又发现时间、体力已经快不够用了，也不管是不是最好的，所以就拿回来了 
这时，苏格拉底告诉他：
" 那就是婚姻 " 

柏拉图又有一天又问老师苏格拉底什么是外遇 
苏格拉底还是叫他到树林走一次 
可以来回走
在途中要取一支最好看的花
柏拉图又充满信心地出去
两个小时之后，他精神抖擞地带回了一支颜色艳丽但稍稍焉掉的花，
苏格拉底问他： "  这就是最好的花吗？ "
柏拉图回答老师：
"  我找了两小时，发觉这是最盛开最美丽的花，但我采下带回来的路上，它就逐渐枯萎下来 "
这时，苏格拉底告诉他：
"  那就是外遇 "

又有一天又问老师苏格拉底什么是生活
苏格拉底还是叫他到树林走一次
可以来回走
在途中要取一支最好看的花 
柏拉图有了以前的教训 
又充满信心地出去 
过了三天三夜，他也没有回来。 
苏格拉底只好走进树林里去找他，最后发现柏拉图已在树林里安营扎寨。 
苏格拉底问他：  " 你找着最好看的花么？  "
柏拉图指着边上的一朵花说：  " 这就是最好看的花。  "
苏格拉底问：  " 为什么不把它带出去呢？  "
柏拉图回答老师： 
" 我如果把它摘下来，它马上就枯萎。即使我不摘它，它也迟早会枯。所以我就在它还盛开的时候，住在它边上。等它凋谢的时候，再找下一朵。这已经是我找着的第二朵最好看的花。  "
这时，苏格拉底告诉他： 
" 你已经懂得生活的真谛了  "

---

猛然发现，自己已经写了3年了空间了（名义时间3年，实际大概2年多），回头看看自己大一时候的文章，感慨真的很多~~

恭喜自己坚持了3年，3周年庆！哈哈！

更要感谢各位同胞们长时间的支持，没有你们的料，也没有我空间存在的意义了，我以后会再接再厉，多多爆料~~

1960年出生于上海

1983年毕业于上海同济大学路桥系

1987年获麻省理工学院土木工程学硕士

1990年获麻省理工学院经济学博士。同年加入世界银行，担任经济分析员。在世行的五年时间，所参与的项目涉及拉美、南亚及东亚地区，并负责处理该银行于印尼的工商业发展项目，以及其他亚太地区国家的电讯及电力发展项目

1995年，加入新加坡的Macquarie Bank，担任企业财务部的联席董事

1997年加入摩根士丹利，任亚太区经济学家。

现在此男退出摩根不干了，哈哈（报告泄露）

每天都看他的博客，看他的节目，讲话哈有腔调，且不说这种预言对不对，至少有胆说的人就没几个像他这么激进的，非常喜欢！

PS 聪明的上海男宁，有北方男人的气概！